藤井風さんがaahT中に公演を中止せざるを得なくなったとき、SNS上で風さんを心配する声があふれたことにモヤモヤした気持ちを想い出す。
というのも、私は人に心配されるのが嫌いだからだ。
母との関係をいつもこじらせるのは、私のそういう性格と、母の心配性からくる気持ちのすれ違いが原因だ。
心配になるのは信頼がないからだと感じてしまう。
心配性を美談にする短絡さが苦手だ。
上手くいけば「心配してたんだから、」失敗したら「だから言ったでしょう」と、（いつも私はあなたのために言ってあげてる）つもりなのが、うざい。
眉間にしわ寄せて心配されるより、「あなたは大丈夫」と微笑んでもらえたら、どんなに心強いだろう。
風さんのお母様は本当に太陽のような人なんだろうと想像する。
I remember the unclear feeling I felt when Fujii Kaze was forced to cancel a performance during aahT and social media was flooded with voices of concern for him.
The reason is that I hate people worrying about me.
The reason my relationship with my mother is always strained is the misunderstanding between my personality like that and my mother's worrying nature.
I end to feel that the reason she worries is because she doesn't trust me.
I don't like the short-sightedness of making a story about worrying into a lovely one.
It irritates me that people always sound like they are thinking about the people around them, saying "I was worried about you" when things go well and "I told you so" when they fail.
How much more reassuring it would be to have someone smile and say "You'll be fine" rather than frowning and worrying.
I imagine KAZE's mother is truly a sunny person.
